Top 10 Ways You Know You Really *Are* a Student Nurse

1. You wanted the Phillies to sweep in four games, so the final game wouldn’t conflict with Sim Lab.
2. Family photos now feature you in scrubs, on your way to or on the way home from clinicals.
3. You are now spending more time with people you met three months ago than your own family.
4. Your kids’ doctors hate to see you coming, because you now look up all their prescriptions in your Davis’s guide.
5. You’ve changed more beds in the hospital than at home in the last month.
6. “Sleeping in” is 6 a.m.
7. Your toddler uses the spygmamometer in his toy medical kit correctly—with the stethoscope—and he calls it a spygmamometer, not a “blood pressure kit.”
8. You start inventing nursing diagnoses for people at your day job: “Risk for apathy related to congenital laziness as evidenced by late arrival three days in a row.”
9. You think “The Poop on my Pants” is a dinner story, and don’t understand why your teens insist it’s not.
10. When you hear someone else’s patient has a chest tube, your response is not, “Oh, how awful.” It’s: “Why does s/he get all the good patients?”